Thursday, August 24, 2006

Searching...


It's been a stressful week, although it feels more like a month. I guess the stress increases having to keep it all in, finding no outlet for one's thoughts except in prayer or in print. Nor can one just get up and go, letting your feet take you where it will for responsibilities keep knocking, waiting to be addressed. I have come to a point where I am just tired of being on top of things all the time and yet one can't hand the reins to someone else to drive for a while. Such is life.

In the midst of storms, one's hope is to hold on to the memory of the sun. Surely the sun will shine again...surely a safe harbor can be found, where ragged sails may be mended, numerous holes in the hull may be patched, and supplies replenished for yet another leg of the journey. I had searched for such a place, thought I saw a vision of it through the sheets of rain, yet lost it in the darkness of the night. I am exhausted fighting the waves that at times tower higher than my ship, appearing out of nowhere when I was lulled by the calm. Yet I hope still for I know that my Beloved is not far. He promised and He always delivers. So I strain despite the tiredness of fighting small battles to see Him beckoning me on. So I hope even as I continue to search...Eventually, I know I'll find what my heart searches for....Until then I will keep on searching....