Who says you need to be great to make a difference?

I was reading my regular fare of inspirational stuff and decided to post this. Most of us won't ever get into key positions that can change the world in a major way but like this man, we can actually mean the world to someone else. It doesn't take much to do as well -- a little smile, a listening ear and heart, a few minutes of chatting. After watching this video, I am encouraged to look, really LOOK at some of the people I normally pass by or don't have much time for -- my 90 year old Lola who has alzheimer's , my talkative niece, etc. I just might be better for it.

clipped from www.beliefnet.com Morning Practice: Delivering Joy Do you ever feel invisible? This man cheerfully delivers meals to people who would otherwise have no visitors. He likes to bring smiles their faces and let them know someone cares. Why? Because we're all God's children, he says.

I need to get out more often. . .

While waiting for my turn, I was stumbling along quite happily when I stumbled upon this site that tests your knowledge of geography. Sad to say I didn't even get past the first level. Which is ok. It just challenges me more to get to know this place I call home, the earth. If you wish to test your own knowledge about our world, here's the game I was playing. . .

Get a FREE Travel Blog, or copy this
Traveler IQ challenge
from TravelPod.com

. . . .

I want to go to the sea. Can someone take me there now? I suddenly long for the roar of the ocean, just like in Infanta. Confronted by the vastness of it, by the rush of the waves and their crashing upon the shore -- all that is unspeakable within me need not be spoken any more. . . .

I want to feel the rushing of a strong wind upon my face -- lifting my hair like a sail behind me. I want to be bathed by the light of a full moon, soothed by its quieting silvery light.

Yet all I can do tonight is sigh. . .a sigh that wells up from deep within me yet cannot be articulated beyond that. Let it suffice for now...Deep calls to Deep.

SIGH. . . .

. . . .


I wrote this post with this Relaxation and Meditation Timer I stumbled upon. It had a choice of songs which you can play in the background with a clock to keep time for you as you meditate or relax. It seemed appropriate somehow...

History, anyone?

I stumbled upon this during my lunch break. It brought to mind my stint as a teacher in World History in my alma mater two years ago (gosh, has it been that long?) It's pretty neat. Wish I had this as one of my visual aid tools back then. It would have made an interesting jump off point for a discussion on the role of religion in terms of the expansion of society. :) Anyway, here it is...watch and learn...

Getting rid of tunnel vision

When I become caught up in my little world -- with its seemingly BIG concerns, get weighed down by the things that are not going the way I want them to go, when my world seems to have shrunk to me being the center of it -- I need a way to rid myself of, what I call, 'tunnel vision'.

In medical terms, tunnel vision is the loss of peripheral vision with retention of central vision, resulting in a constricted circular tunnel-like field of vision

In layman's terms, it seems as if all that one can see is focused only on one thing, everything else beside it fades away. Well with the wedding day moving closer, I seem to be experiencing a slight tunneling of my vision. I find myself unable to think of the big picture as readily as I used to. Well tonight, while taking a break from wedding-related stuff, I stumbled upon this website with a very inspiring video . . . It's of a professor who was giving his last lecture. The highlights of his lecture helped me get rid of my temporary tunnel vision and restore to me a sense of what this is all for :)

The wedding isn't the end all and be all of everything (though at times I admit it feels like that :P). The whole world will not cease to exist if the invitations are not sent when I planned them to be sent nor will World War III take place if I forget one logistical detail. What is important is the marriage -- the new life I am entering into. Now that is something I need to keep touching base with. All these wedding preparations are actually showing me how I would most likely deal with the stressors that are part and parcel of married life. LIFE -- that is the operative word I have to remember. That was what Professor Randy's lecture was all about.

Thank you to Sara of Healthbolt, the site I found the video at. Thank you to Professor Randy. That was one great Last Lecture!

*Click on the video or the logo WSJ to start the video if pressing on play doesn't work :P

Deep thoughts on a Windy October morning...

I was going through our forum at www.misyononline.com and saw an old post by my boss. It had a link to an article entitled, 'A Glint of Sapphire' and it was a reflection of sorts by the author and his wife as they celebrated 45 years of marriage. Wow! In this day and age, such longevity in marriages is to be celebrated indeed.

I'd like to share some lines from the article which struck a chord in me and got me thinking about certain things. They quoted the old marriage rite (Pre-Vatican II pa ata) :

“You begin your married life, by the voluntary surrender of your individual lives, in the interest of the deeper and wider life you are to have in common. That future, with its hopes and disappointments, its pleasures and pains, its joys and sorrows, its successes and failures, is hidden from your eyes now. Yet, these elements are mingled in every life. They are to be expected in your own.”

An iron-clad commitment follows: “And so, not knowing what is before you, you take each other for better or for worse; for richer or for poorer; in sickness and in health, until death do you part.”

I hadn't realized until reading this quote that the Church has a very balanced view of life and what it entails. The quoted portions of the rite acknowledged the elements that would be needed for a fulfilled marriage. One element that I found significant is found in the line... "the voluntary surrender of your individual lives, in the interest of the deeper and wider life you are to have in common". Voluntary surrender is an act of the will. You choose to give up your preferences and wants. What for? I know nowadays, there is a strong advocacy for individual rights but then marriage according to these lines is not about individual rights but about a communal life. I used to see surrender as synonymous to defeat but I have been learning that isn't always the case. Surrendering, especially in the context of giving up for something better makes one a victor and not the vanquished. What for are we called to surrender in marriage? We are called to surrender in the interest of a deeper and wider life that is to be lived in common.

No one can quite say, they weren't fairly warned :P I like the line "voluntary surrender of your individual lives" -- yup it is indeed a choice and a choice made everyday I think... :)

And what reassures me is the line that says despite not knowing what is ahead, the couple takes each other as is in all circumstances. No ifs and buts about it. Now that is commitment. I used to want to be 100% sure of my choice of a mate. But then I cannot see a 100% into the future and how things will be but as the article stated,

“And if the unselfish spirit of sacrifice guide your every action, you can expect the greatest measure of earthly happiness that may be allotted to a person in this life,” it pledged. “The rest is in the hands of God.”

And I think that's the safest place for my marriage to be at. :)

Eye of the Storm

September is drawing to a close. Right around the corner is October. That leaves me with less than three months before the wedding. I'm trying not to panic and to stay on top of things but I do get this feeling of time slipping through my fingers before I can adequately maximize all that it has to offer. I admit I swing in either two directions when that happens. First, I either procrastinate -- an infantile desire to have things fix themselves so I let things slide. Second, I may become almost like a headless chicken rushing to and fro trying to get everything done in one day. Sigh.

On this yet again rainy day, I pause and try to regroup myself and have a better battle plan than staying within the realm of Stephen Covey's 'Urgent/Important' quadrant. I can do this, I tell myself. I have to do this :) No one to pass the buck to nor anyone dogging me to get this or that done. It will get done, by hook or by crook (I say that now with a determined nod of my head, my eye on the calendar, my mind racing with a million and one 'to do' things).

Despite the urgency though, I am glad that I have not yet lost that joyful spirit, thanks to my times of prayer everyday and my fiance's strong support, felt even from a distance. When things are done gladly and with joy it indeed ceases to become a burden. Today is the eye of the storm. I use this time to regroup and to assess how best to tackle the days ahead that I may not lose sight of the goal -- the day God's promises are proven true.

So enough blogging for now. Time to tackle that calendar that has been calling my name the past hour or so. Time to make a battle plan and to carry it through. May God keep me always at the center of His peace. Amen.

As I tackle the list in front of me...this music is playing in the background, soothing me...

Need to study...

I came across this quiz and it made me realize, I need to brush up on my theology... :) It has been awhile since I read a good Catholic Theology book...


Which theologian are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Friedrich Schleiermacher,You seek to make inner feeling and awareness of God the centre of your theology, which is the foundation of liberalism. Unfortunately, atheists are quick to accuse you of simply projecting humanity onto 'God' and liberalism never really recovers.

Which theologian are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Prayer from the Heart

It's been a while since I blogged...obviously :P I was busy living instead of blogging about living... :)

Anyway, my fiance was in town since September 5 until the 24th so it was more interesting hanging out with him than being in front of the computer. Besides, the only reason I stay in front of the computer most days (other than work-related) is to keep in touch with him and since he's here in the flesh -- best to focus my attention on the real thing. Now that he's back to being on the other side of the world, the computer becomes once again my friend. :P

Since I'm taking a break from doing another sideline, I read this prayer from Chicken Soup of the Soul's website. I found it quite apt for what I pray for Junby and myself. I'd like to share it with you here:

A Prayer for Couples

By Marianne Williamson

Dear God,

Please make of our relationship a great and holy
adventure.
May our joining be a sacred space.
May the two of us find rest here,
a haven for our souls.

Remove from us any temptation to judge one another
or to direct one another.
We surrender to You our conflicts and our burdens.
We know You are our Answer and our rock.
Help us to not forget.

Bring us together in heart and mind as well as body.
Remove from us the temptation to criticize or be cruel.
May we not be tempted by fantasies and projections,
but guide us in the ways of holiness.
Save us from darkness.

May this relationship be a burst of light.
May it be a fount of love and wisdom for us,
for our family, for our community, for our world.
May this bond be a channel for Your love and healing,
a vehicle of Your grace and power.
As lessons come and challenges grow,
let us not be tempted to forsake each other.
Let us always remember that in each other we have
the most beautiful woman, the most beautiful man,
the strongest one, the sacred one in whose arms we
are repaired.

May we remain young in this relationship.
May we grow wise in this relationship.
Bring us what You desire for us,
and show us how You would have us be.

Thank you, dear God,
You who are the cement between us.
Thank You for this love.

Amen.

Oh to be super human...

Was in-between certain tasks at work and stumbled upon this quiz.



I came out as being close to INVISIBLE WOMAN. Bagay ba? Hanapin nyo muna ako :P Back to work na...hehehe

Timely Reminder

I have been feeling out of sorts the past days but by God's grace, I see each day through. Pressure from within and without, I guess. . . and maybe pouring out to others have left me a little. . . out-of-sorts. Not exactly drained but not exactly flying in high heavens either. This morning during my time of prayer, I just asked God to find me again. I have days/moments like that where I feel I don't have what it takes to keep running the race of Faith. Anyway, today, I have seen God's faithfulness. I'm about to work on a project, which I've been putting off but which I really need to do something about now. Yet before doing so, I hedged one more time and instead opened my e-mail on the pretext of checking for "important" messages.

Well God I believe can communicate through any means even technology and so I decided to check out a post of one of my friends on multiply. Yup, God did indeed speak. It was good to be reminded of some truths in this video. I've copied it here so that others may see (if anybody does check my blog that is :P) and take heart. :) Thank you Jesus...thank you...

Memories of times past

When things become too much to take in at once, part of me wishes to go back to a time when the world made sense, I made sense. Songs help me get there. Here is a song that comes from one of my Papa's favorite artists, Richard Clayderman. I used to have a crush on him... :P Those were the days... and today is such a day that I need a memory from the past to draw comfort from. Thank God for music (the language of the soul, in my humble opinion)...

Pop Psychology

I like taking tests. Yes, I know I'm weird but we all have our own brand of weirdness. I guess mine is the desire to find out how I fare in terms of tests, quizzes and pop psychology stuff. So here are my results for a quick Color Test. Quite on the dot, if I do say so myself.... :)

Mitzi took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Shelves her ambitions and forgoes her desire for p..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

Take it yourself if you have five minutes on your hands. It's always good to know one's self better. :)

A poem from Long ago...

Taking a break from the regular work I do for Misyon, I decided to try stumbleupon again. It's a cool add on of Firefox which brings me to sites that I would not have stumbled upon if I had used the regular search engines. It's fun actually since I don't really know what site would be presented to me. Though the sites given to me are more or less along the perimeters of the categories I had indicated.

Well this cool, overcast August afternoon, I stumbled upon an old poem. Reading it brought back memories of hearing my maternal grandfather reading different works of poetry to us when we were kids, instructing us to roll our r's and to enunciate whenever we attempted to read these works of literature aloud. This old poem is from one of my Lolo's favorite poets, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. I believe its an apt poem for how I see life nowadays....

A Psalm Of Life

by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Tell me not, in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream!
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.

Life is real! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal;
Dust thou art, to dust returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
Is our destined end or way;
But to act, that each to-morrow
Find us farther than to-day.

Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.

In the world's broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle!
Be a hero in the strife!

Trust no Future, howe'er pleasant!
Let the dead Past bury its dead!
Act,--act in the living Present!
Heart within, and God o'erhead!

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time;--

Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o'er life's solemn main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.

I found this wonderful poem at READ PRINT, a free online library which holds thousands of books for students, teachers and classic enthusiasts. I thank Lolo Ting for teaching me to love the written word. It has guided me along life's paths, teaching me through the different protagonist and antagonists the dynamics of living. One need not live everything for learning to take place. At times, learning vicariously through another's experience is enough. Through the different characters of the written word, I have as Longfellow aptly put it, "Learn to labor and to wait."

Beam me up Scotty...

Trying to stay awake, I stumbled upon this little test. For those who are fans of Star Trek, you might like to check this out and at the same time you can relate :P I took the test trying to see which Star Trek character I would be. Would you agree? The results show that I have the personality of:

Captain Jean-Luc Picard

Always in control, you are a great leader, delegates, and diplomat. These qualities attract people to you, and this sometimes annoys you.

Aloof, introspective, and philosophical; you enjoy quiet time in solitude.

Take the Star Trek Quiz

Word Game

Here's a nice way to add to your vocabulary...

Word of the Day

presentiment
Definition:	A sense that something is about to occur; a premonition.
Synonyms:	boding, foreboding, premonition

Word of the Day
provided by The Free Dictionary

Hangman

Hangman
provided by The Free Dictionary

A forgotten name...

Lovely. . . that was how Papa used to call me. I had forgotten that but was reminded recently when Mama, due to my insistence, started looking for long-lost family pictures. I need the pictures for the wedding after all. In her initial forays into the daunting pile of boxes which hold most of our earthly possessions (having decided not to unpack most of them after we transferred here, Lola's house) she found some pieces of paper, yellowed with age. They were Papa's scribbled notes to himself regarding various topics. This particular piece of paper had a rundown of a family outing they had planned for Honey and myself -- a day at the carnival. That was in 1990, a year before Papa passed away.

The items on the note sounded so much like Papa. He wrote the way he spoke. One item on that list was a reminder to himself to allot a certain amount of money for "Lovely and Honey to spend to their heart's content. . ." That's when I remembered that Papa didn't call me Mitzi. He tended to call me Lovely. . . .

Reading that note made me miss Papa and brought a wistful smile to my face. I had forgotten that nickname. . . It's good to somehow remember it now. . . .

Lovely. . .

This is so funny!

Just wanted to share a video I had seen last year pa but it was in a friend's 3G phone. I found it now on youtube. Hope you find it as funny as I do...



With that, I am inspired to start working on a presentation for Misyon's November-December 2007 issue's CD version. Hope it turns out well :P

In thanksgiving...

I sleep tonight with a smile on my lips and a prayer of thanks to God. Today has been a day of affirmation for me. Affirmation of God's goodness and faithfulness, affirmation of the rightness in following God's ways and timing. I slept most of this morning away, all the nights of sleeping late the past week catching up with me. Since I had already attended mass Saturday evening, I didn't need to get up early to catch mass at 11:00 A.M. Finally feeling that I have overstayed my welcome in dreamland, I got up and convinced myself to begin work on a project I had pledged myself to do. I worked steadily at my task, pausing once in a while to get up and walk about trying to jog my creative streak into high gear. Then at around 5 P.M. I called it a 'day' and decided to take a kitty nap before heading out for my dinner with brother and sisters I used to work on staff with for CYA.

We met up at Lopue's Mandalagan and went to Hayahay, a restaurant found in the compound of Lopue's Mandalagan. I was impressed with the interior, the ambiance was chic but not intimidating. The food -- sarap! I recommend it. We had two types of pizza and a tomato based soup whose name I can't quite spell at the moment :P It was a good time to chat, catch up on the events of each other's lives and what God is teaching each of us at the moment. There is really something life-giving when I am with people who have experienced God in a very personal and real way. I somehow feel that the most essential part of me is acknowledged, nourished and affirmed. I feel more like myself when I am with them.

We ended the night by giving honor to three people: April (she had left volunteer staff work at the middle of the semester last year so we were unable to thank her and affirm all the good she had done while working full time for the brothers and sisters), Michelle (who celebrated her birthday a few weeks ago) and surprise -- myself (I celebrated my birthday a month ago). Honoring is a practice we have in community where we thank the person being honored for the good that he/she has done which have made a significant impact in our lives. I believe honoring is very essential nowadays in a world that only seeks to point out one's mistakes and failures and dismisses the good that is done as being trivial and obvious. It was heart warming to hear and remember how we had in one way or another blessed the lives of others.

In thanksgiving I would like to also say thank you to God who 'ordered' me home and brought me to these men and women who have in their own personal pursuit of God have shown me the beauty, nobility, dignity and value in others and in myself. By God's grace we have been Jesus to each other. God does indeed know best. I know I was not very happy about leaving Manila to start a new life here in Bacolod. Yet God in His wisdom knew that this is where I needed to be to solidify the lessons and realizations I've had of Him and of my purpose in life. It has been my privilege to journey with these brother and sisters. My life has been enriched because they have become part of it. Thank you Lord for knowing better. Thank you also for the grace to submit to your will.

Unexpected find

Have you ever had those days that things just seem to fall into place? I think I'm having one of those days. Though I did start my day rather abruptly, since I woke up to find that it was already 7:30 AM and call time at the office is at 8, God must have had mercy on me that the moment I ventured out of the house, I got to ride a jeep without having to waste minutes waiting for one. That lucky streak continued for the next jeep ride and then a tricycle so that I got to the office at relatively early for one so late :P

I decided to have my breakfast and prayer time in the office na rin to save on time so I did just that. Then work began. While taking a break before I tackle two articles lined up -- one for editing and the other for fleshing out, I decided to check out www.imeem.com for some songs I had playing in my head. Guess what I found? One of my favorite songs! Here it is:



I remember staff days singing to this song. And where I am now in my life, this song still fits. Hope you enjoy it. Now, its back to work...:)

Dance with me?

Last Saturday, my mom and I got an unexpected invitation from Mommy E, to join them at the alumni night of USLS. They had paid for several tickets already and since they didn't want these tickets to go to waste, they decided to extend the invitation to us. Mama and I agreed and off we went. On the way, Mama and I were laughing to ourselves wondering what an LCC alumna and an Atenean doing in La Sallian territory?

The night went quite well. They had a good band, "Behind Closed Doors" who played all the crowd's favorites from cha-cha to boogie to rock and roll tunes. I had a few spins on the dance floor myself with my Mommy E, of course. Mama just opted to sit and watch the dancers. Mommy E was able to convince her hubby to join her in dancing too. If her shoe hadn't given out on her, we wouldn't have gone home before midnight. :)

During the course of the night, as I watched others dance and took a few turns on the dance floor myself, I realized its been a while since I went dancing. I used to dance a lot in Manila mostly in connection with presentations in our covenant community, Ligaya ng Panginoon. I like to dance (not that I'm very good at it, mind you) and at one point in my relationship with God, I came to see my relationship with him as a dance. There came a point in my life where I couldn't find the song in my heart that helped me to dance but that season has passed. I haven't thought about dancing in a long while but that night reminded me of the joy in just letting one's body move to the beat. I found a message from a friend lately that kind of speaks of how I think of dancing:

Dancing With God
a forwarded message...

When I meditated on the word Guidance, I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word.

I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing.

When two people try to lead, nothing feels right.

The movement doesn't flow with the music,

and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.

When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead,

both bodies begin to flow with the music.

One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back

or by pressing Lightly in one direction or another.

It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully.

The dance takes surrender, willingness,

and attentiveness from one person

and gentle guidance and skill from the other.

My eyes drew back to the word Guidance.

When I saw "G: I thought of God, followed by "u" and "i".

"God, "u" and "i" dance."

God, you, and I dance.

As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust

that I would get guidance about my life.

Once again, I became willing to let God lead.

My prayer for you today is that God's blessings and mercies be upon you on this day and everyday. May you abide in God as God abides in you.

Dance together with God, trusting God to lead

and to guide you through each season of your life.

World Youth Day 2008

Hello friends! My boss, Fr Sean showed me the site for the next World Youth Day in SYDNEY, Australia on July 2008. I listened to the theme song and it brought me to tears. I pray that the Holy Spirit indeed pour forth His power to renew the face of the earth. Here's the theme song. Play it, pray it so that when July 2008 comes around, the Holy Spirit indeed will be received by the youth of the world....

Wise words from a great poet

A few days ago, I encountered on the same day from two different sources the same quotation. It's a quotation I had read before in one of my cousin's favorite books, Letters to a Young Poet by Ranier Maria Rilke. I haven't gotten around to getting a copy for myself but I resolve to do so before the year is out. The said quotation came in the wake of my personal ruminations on certain questions about life and love. They might have been coincidences but I'm more inclined to believe that the quotation was given as a gentle reminder to me by God -- that to not know the answer to some of life's questions is not such a tragedy. The quote is as follows:

"You are so young, so much before all beginning, and I would like to beg you, dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer. Perhaps you do carry within you the possibility of creating and forming, as an especially blessed and pure way of living; train yourself for that - but take whatever comes, with great trust, and as long as it comes out of your will, out of some need of your innermost self, then take it upon yourself, and don't hate anything."

When I was searching the net for the exact quotation, I came across a website dedicated to that very book. You may wish to check it out one time. Each sentence I believe is worth pondering especially during cold, rainy days when thinking and pondering seems appropriate. On a side note, only when I read the entire letter 4 did I discover that the topic that was under discussion in that missive was sex. Rilke has a very beautiful way of discussing it -- restoring to it the dignity that is sadly lacking in most discussions on the topic nowadays.

So if you have a cold, rainy day with nothing much to do (that would be quite rare for most of us), check out the site and learn to live the questions in your own life. Isn't it great to be alive?

Letters to a Young Poet

Song for this rainy day...

I was inspired by my cousin's blog recently which featured the different soundtracks that would pepper her days. Though I am quite challenged to recall the titles of songs, having to ask for it to be sung before I can say with certainty whether I know the song in question or not, I too have those days where music plays at the back of my mind triggered by an event or a person.

Her blog (which you will see on the newly posted Blog roll -- naks marunong na daw) pointed me to a kewl website: http://www.blogmusik.net/ where you can create your own play list. So I set to work in creating one for myself. I had always wanted to compile songs from movies and television shows and to my delight, I have created a play list with a lot of songs I have been wanting to hear for so long. In the course of my happy downloading, I encountered this song that is part of the OST of Love Actually. Somehow the lyrics speak a little about how I feel today. With the help of another website: imeem, I've decided to post it here -- as my song for today:

If I were a book...

It's a few minutes past midnight so technically its already July 3, 2007. I had decided to call it a night/day from making a project (helping a Catholic school come up with its Religious Education curriculum) when I checked my e-mail one last time. Seeing an invitation from an old friend from college to join my network of friends online, I chose to accept the invitation and thus check out the developments on my fellow multiply users. Thus, I was led to take this quiz :P (What can I say? Curiosity gets me into fixes which makes life interesting). If I were a book, what would I be? Hmmm . . . Here is the result of the quiz . . .

You're One Hundred Years of Solitude!

by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Lonely and struggling, you've been around for a very long time.
Conflict has filled most of your life and torn apart nearly everyone you know. Yet there
is something majestic and even epic about your presence in the world. You love life all
the more for having seen its decimation. After all, it takes a village.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

So my dear friends -- would you agree? :P

Thank you Pa...

Thirty more minutes and Sunday would have passed into Monday. I'd like to take these last few minutes of Father's Day to pay tribute to my Papa.

I miss him. After almost sixteen years, the pain that loss brings has faded to a dull ache, one that only manifests itself in times of loneliness, fear, extreme joy, during memorable occasions and moments of wanting to be a kid without a care in the world. I can't quite call to mind how he looks now not as easily as before but I can remember quite well how it felt to be wrapped in his arms and seemingly disappear into his embrace. During those moments, those arms that held me felt like home. Only in God's arms during my times of prayer do I feel that again. There is just something about Papa's hugs that can never be replicated.

My Papa was far from being a saint or the perfect father as definitions of perfect fathers go. Over the years though, I have come to realize that he was the best father he knew how to be and how he was, as a father was what I needed and tend to seek until now. He had his favorite vices though he never let them take over his life, for which I am grateful. He had his own share of shattering my expectations and losing my trust for a period of time but what healed me of those broken 'ideals' of what a father was 'supposed' to be was the knowledge that to him, I was the most precious thing in the world. I was his princess...daddy's little girl.

It was he who taught me how to swallow medicine in tablet form. He taught me how to bike for about half a minute before I toppled over and refused to learn again. He taught me how to defend myself -- from breaking free of a hand gripping my wrist to hitting the most sensitive places of an attacker enough to give me a chance to run. He taught me how to play chess and what an accomplishment it was for me to 'beat' him at a game. He cooked the best tasting adobo and showed me how to interpret people's actions because we didn't speak the same language -- he would give a running interpretation of 'Wok with Yan'. He introduced me to the joys of reading. I remember reading 'Hunt for Red October' when I was in grade 5.

He showed me how men were supposed to treat women -- I never remembered my parents arguing. If they did, they must have done it behind closed doors so I escaped the trauma of seeing my parents fight. He showed me what faithfulness and love meant. He always came home after a week-long absence due to his work as the company dentist of a sugar central which was located far from Bacolod. He taught me how to give massages, allowing me to walk on his back until I became too heavy, that is. He showed me what it meant to be a man in control of his emotions. However trying the circumstances, he never raised his voice nor his hands. Only once did I see him do anything physically violent -- he kicked a chair in frustration over the outcome of one of his 'adopted sons' life because of thoughtlessness. He taught me the value of generosity and affording other people their human dignity no matter their social status in life. He had a clinic at home and we would get patients sometimes in the dead of the night. He never turned them away even when they had nothing to pay him with for his services except for some farm produce or live chicken they had with them.

He introduced to me the world of classical music. I can still remember lazy Sundays where the only sound heard at home were the strains of the Ride of the Valkyries or the overtures of Swan Lake. He opened up to me the different periods in music history and the great artists that peopled them. We used to listen to these masterpieces on a record player otherwise known as a turntable. He also taught me some tai chi movements for no other reason than he wanted me to learn them. In short, he knew a little about almost everything -- Jack of all trades and master in some.

I miss you Papa. Happy Father's day. Thank you for loving me.

Reminiscing

Once a birthday rolls around, one can't help but be a little sentimental. I guess its one's way of taking stock of how much one has received and given to life, in the hopes that God in His goodness will bless one with another year to live. After 28 years of existence, what lessons have I learned so far? Enough I hope to be able to make the next 28 years and more even more memorable and worth reminiscing about.

First lesson I've learned is the importance of choice. It is what God has blessed us with which separates us from mere animals that react instinctively. I have also learned that there always is a choice. Not choosing is actually a choice in itself. I can choose to be present to my present. I can choose to let my past define me or not. I can choose to choose or not to choose.

Second lesson I've learned is that God is big enough to handle the worst sins we can ever commit. He was there when we did it. It's not as if He didn't know what we were doing. So going to him and fessing up isn't actually for His sake, but ours. Only when I've confessed the wrong I have done can He show me concretely what He means when He says His love is unconditional.

Third lesson I've learned is that however much God has forgiven us for the sins and wrongs we have committed, there are still consequences inherent in the choice that we have to face. To face it though is one way God can use to strengthen us and use what negatives we may have incurred to become a positive for our lives in the long run.

Fourth lesson, God is a God of second chances and therefore I too, as His child, needed to learn to differentiate between the sinner and the sin. I have received mercy from Him numerous times therefore I learned to give mercy as well. Doing so has helped me become less uptight about things and have become more compassionate to those who err and have made some bad choices.

Fifth lesson, I am loved. Not just for the good that I do but even for the mistakes that I have made. He has loved me even when I was yet a sinner therefore there is nothing that I can do or say that will make God love me any less or any more than He already does. Loved this way gives me an assurance and a confidence that I will not be able to run so far that God's love cannot find me and make me whole. Such love also serves to drive me to be better for such love deserves nothing less. Yet to fail in the trying is no defeat. That same love compels me to get up, dust myself off and keep running until I see Him face to face.

May all that I do and say be ways by which I can love you, O Lord more perfectly than I did yesterday. Thank you for this life. Grant me the grace to live it well. Amen.

Sweetness personified part 2

Here are some pictures I took of the three dozen long-stemmed red roses and chocolates my sweet fiance sent me yesterday:



This must be the most number of roses I got from him so far. The chocolates are quite good too -- there goes my diet (for now).

Gazing at the roses, I realized something...we are like God in that we use objects to say in one gesture what we would like to say in a thousand words. God wanted to tell us who he is and what he is about. He spent centuries speaking about Himself especially to a specific people yet it was not enough. So He came as a person -- Jesus, that by seeing Jesus we will have a clearer picture of what He had been trying to say. This Sunday we celebrate the Body and Blood of Christ...now if that isn't the most succinct way of saying something, I don't know what else can say it best.

Thank you Sweetie for being like God in that you speak without words. Truly I am blessed.

Sweetness personified

Today was an ordinary day except for the love and care I felt from my fiance who is a thousand miles away. How was he able to do that? Well, this good man has his ways of making me smile. First, he was quite understanding that I couldn't chat with him since I had work this morning. That might not mean a lot to others but its a very big step for my sweetie. He likes having me around (I must have quite a fascinating personality, naks -- nagbuhat ng sariling bangko :P).

Next, though he must have wanted to have me stay and vidchat with him after lunch (we haven't 'seen' much of each other the past weeks due to his work load and my service in CYA) he instead told me I needed to sleep (I must have looked quite haggard ;P). Isn't he thoughtful?

I didn't really feel like getting up after my nap but since I needed to visit my best friend's dressmaker to have myself measured for her wedding, I stumbled out of bed. What greeted me were two boxes. One was a long rectangular box that I have become quite familiar with the past months and one square box which was quite new to me. As I suspected, it came from my thoughtful, sweet and romantic fiance -- deep red rose buds (three dozen to be exact!) and a box of Belgian sweets! Will post the pics later since I prefer to take photos in natural light (naks, feeling marunong). :)

Such extravagance is something I had to get used to. I'm a simple girl with simple joys and to be lavished with such attention and gifts was quite overwhelming at first. I would be hypocritical though if I said I didn't feel flattered by it either. I thank God for such loving coming from a good, generous and thoughtful man. I am indeed blessed. Knowing him, he isn't going to stop doing this after we are married and somehow I have come to look forward to such sweetness from him. I pray I can love him well in return.

Final Hurrah for Summer 2007

The last leg of Summer 2007 saw me mixing work and play. May 28-June 1 2007 was a week-long training for CYA. Commonly known as the Summer Training Conference (STC), this year's Visayas STC was held at Sunrise Beach Resort in Guimbal, Iloilo. Having the conference by the seashore I think helped me stay relatively stress free. I have always felt soothed by the sound of the waves rushing to shore.

An unexpected blessing was the full moon on the last night of the seminar. I love full moons! They seem to speak to me of God's love. Being at the beach under the light of a bright and silvery full moon was indeed a blessing. Another boon was serving alongside people who epitomize the conference's theme...'Radical Loving, Radical Living'.



After a long week of service, I opted to have a three days and two nights enjoying the last days of summer visiting Guimaras. I had never been there and having heard so many good things about the place, I decided to convince my fellow workers to take a few days off with me. It was worth it although the travel was tiring. Here are a few pics of our adventures...

Fun Countdown...

I chose the beach and the moon for these are but two of what I love in nature. Spending time at the beach this past week during the STC (Summer Training Course) of CYA was such a blessing. The beach and the moon help me to de-stress and to recover my equilibrium. I'll write about that more next time.

Anyway, I came across the countdown in a friend's blog (thanks, Kate!). I thought it would be fun to post one myself. With 6 months to go, I still have a lot of things to get in order. O well, how does one eat an elephant? A bite at a time so . . . time to start biting :)

Lessons from Driving School

The worst thing that I can do is to just keep talking about doing something and never getting around to doing it. Words have no weight after all without the actions to support it. So I finally stopped talking about learning how to drive and just. . . did it!

The past week starting Tuesday until Thursday I sat behind the wheel of a Nissan Sentra, first the manual model and the last two hours of my classes the automatic -- just to have a feel of the difference. People keep saying its easier to drive an automatic but I wanted to challenge myself by learning how to drive the stick shift. After all, majority of the cars that ply our Philippine roads are stick shift rather than automatic. After 5 hours of driving class, have I learned anything? You bet! They are the following:



1. It's important to be aware of what happens in your vehicle. At times I would concentrate more on what was going on outside my vehicle that I become unaware of where my hands were in relation to the steering wheel and my foot was already pressing on the gas :)

In life, it's pretty much the same thing. At times we tend to focus too much on what is happening out there, we forget to pay attention to what is happening in here (in our hearts, minds, and emotions). Self-awareness is key. A balanced one for if we become too focused on what is happening inside, we might run into an immovable object instead and find ourselves stunned by the impact or worse.

2. Slow movements on the steering wheel translates to a large movement onto the wheels. I tended to keep the steering wheel turned either to the right or the left too long thus making the car move towards the other lane.

A slight change in life direction has a huge effect or consequence. These consequences need not be something others necessarily see. They may be changes in life perspective, in values, in goals and dreams. Its also not good to keep on in the same direction when that particular way is supposedly a temporary state to correct something.

3. Keeping the steering wheel steady is important. It doesn't move around -- I move around. My hands can't quite seem to stay on an even keel. My driving instructor observes that my right hand tended to keep pulling (ever so slightly, mind you) towards the right. So my left hand would try to compensate but in doing so, I was making the car swerve from side to side.

Just like in life, once we are in the right lane and in the right place, what we need to do is keep our steering wheel steady. We get somewhere faster and in safety at that. At times we also tend to fight with ourselves (our conscience) and with God too much. Instead of keeping to the straight and narrow we veer to the left or to the right.

4. It's all a matter of perspective. I find it a challenge to be able to assess the distance of the vehicle I'm driving and the side of a parked vehicle or a person on a bike. Too many times has my driving instructor taken hold of the steering wheel to steer us away from a possible collision or sideswiping an innocent pedestrian.

At times our view of things are not as they truly are. We might feel we are still far from the edge especially when playing with 'fire' but we fail to see that we are already in danger of hurting ourselves or others.

5. Stay in your lane and you will not be in danger of colliding with another vehicle. My instructor would repeatedly say, 'If you are centered properly in your lane, there is no fear of an accident happening.'

How others are positioned in the journey is not as important as your own position. Another person's state -- emotional, spiritual, physical, psychological are not as important as your own. Before looking for the splinter in your neighbor's eye, it is best to check our own eye for the log that is found there.

These are only some of the fruits of my musings on learning how to drive. There is a certain freedom in being behind the wheel but as Fr Joel Jason taught us in moral theology, 'Freedom does not necessarily mean license.'

I got this from my cousin, Melanie. It's good to go back to this list once in a while. . . After all, we live this life but once, let's live it to the fullest!

Great Advice for Living

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye.But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood.But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with the words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative-dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Flowers in May

Today seemed like any ordinary day or so I thought. I went to work. After work (we work half days every Saturday), I signed myself up for driving lessons. Yup, I'm actually going to brave the roads as a motorist and not a harmless passenger starting Tuesday. I've put it off too long and the summer will soon be over. Once school starts and I have a teaching load (I hope), my free time becomes once again quite scarce. Then I went off to pick up the NSO documents I had requested over the phone. These documents are needed for my upcoming wedding. Next, I went to Robinson's to do some errands and meet a friend for merienda. Coming home, I was so intent at making sure I got home 'early' enough so that I could chat with Junby, I failed to notice a box that came in for me.

Yup, my sweet and romantic fiance sent two dozen pink and red roses. The occasion? Today is our one year and 11 months 'month'-sary. I am indeed the envy of other girls :) I'll upload pics of the flowers tomorrow. I'd like to take shots using natural light (the daylight) since I've noticed shots taken then come out better. :)

What makes a day special in contrast to the ordinary? Simple. . .our experiences and our reactions to them. Today seemed quite ordinary but because Junby sent flowers unexpectedly, today was turned into something worth remembering. Thanks Sweetie for the roses! :) They were a nice way to close a day.

Will upload pics tomorrow. Night pips! Remember, live each day fully. Makes a world of difference. . . .

Here are some pics of the flowers my sweet and romantic fiance sent...

Rockin' 80s

Recently in Pinoy Big Brother season 2, I heard this song which heralds back to the 80's. What caught my attention, aside from its light and easy rockin' tune were the lyrics. It reminded me somehow of my fiance and of myself as well when faced with tears shed by those I love. Here it is: When She cries by Restless Hearts

Get this widget | Share | Track details

The lyrics are as follows:

The road I have traveled on
Is paved with good intentions
It's littered with broken dreams
That never quite came true
When all of my hopes were dying
Her love kept me trying
And she does her best to hide
The pain that she's been through

(Chorus)
When she cries at night
And she doesn't think that I can hear her
She tries to hide all the fears she feels inside
So I pray this time
I can be the man that she deserves
'Cause I die a little each time
When she cries

She's always been there for me
Whenever I've fallen
When nobody else believed
She'd be there by my side
I don't know how she takes it
Just once I like to make it
Then there'll be tears of joy
That fills her loving eyes

(Repeat chorus)
So I pray this time
I can be the man that she deserves
'Cause I die a little each time
When she cries

It hurts to be the cause of someone else's tears, most especially when these tears are shed because of pain or fear. Tears of joy are a different matter altogether. Nice song....

Mom's Day

Today is Mother's Day -- the one day set aside to honor all the mothers in the world. I wonder why we need to put aside a specific day to do that? Shouldn't we tell our mothers how we feel everyday? As for my mom...she and I look very different but I guess I'm one of those who can safely say, 'I will not trade my Mama for anyone in the world. I have the best mom ever!'.

My mom is a guidance counselor by profession. I remember only one time in my 27 years of existence where we actually really fought. I don't recall now what the cause was but I still remember how it felt. I remember telling her at the height of my frustration -- 'you should understand me, you are a counselor!' To which she answered, 'my counseling stops when it comes to my kids.' When it comes to us, we are first and foremost her daughters and not her clients but after that one argument, Mama and I never had any real shouting matches and the like. She never was one for shouting. She's one lady who can silence me with a look. Yet, she has her quirky side too. I remember trying to pay attention at mass only to be distracted when I saw her stick her tongue sideways at me. I am glad God gave me my Mama.

Though we don't look alike I guess I am more like her in attitude and mannerisms. I took another test from Tickle to see how closely I am like my Mama and the test proved that...




You've inherited your mom's Caring Spirit


Are You Turning into Your Mother?

Brought to you by Tickle

Here's their analysis:

Mitzi, you've inherited your mom's Caring Spirit

Imitation is the best form of flattery, so it's no surprise you mirror your mother's knack for treating others well. Maybe you and your mom don't share identical style or taste, but when it comes to who you are deep down, apples don't fall far from the tree.

Whether you're playing matchmaker with a friend, wiping the schmutz off a kid's face, or bringing chicken noodle soup to a sick coworker, you've learned to look out for others' best interests. Kind and caring, you've inherited all of your mom's classic values — whether you like it or not. Good thing mother knows best!

I am glad I have inherited Mama's values. I am proud of my Mama. Without her, I wouldn't be who I am today. Thanks Ma for being the best mom you could be to me. Thank you Jesus for giving my Mama to me.

Bluer than blue

It's Friday afternoon. I just finished rendering some changes on the articles we are currently editing for the upcoming September-October 2007 issue of Misyon

I decided to check other emails I had left unread for months already before resuming work (responding to readers' letters in behalf of DBB -- D Big Boss, our editor Fr Sean Coyle). I saw an email which gave me a link to test what kind of color I represent. I've always been partial to the color blue but I wanted to find out if my preferred color would actually represent my personality. Well according to the test, my true color is...tadah!




Your true color is Blue!


What's Your True Color?

Brought to you by Tickle

In addition to the color, they had an 'analysis' of my personality. The color blue represents me because:

Mitzi, your true color is Blue!

You're blue — the most soothing shade of the spectrum. The color of a clear summer sky or a deep, reflective ocean, blue has traditionally symbolized trust, solitude, and loyalty. Most likely a thoughtful person who values spending some time on your own, you'd rather connect deeply with a few people than have a bunch of slight acquaintances. Luckily, making close friends isn't that hard, since people are naturally attracted to you — they're soothed by your calming presence. Cool and collected, you rarely overreact. Instead, you think things through before coming to a decision. That level-headed, thoughtful approach to life is patently blue — and patently you!

So, friends -- would you agree? :) Anyway, coffee break is over. Time to work uli. Until next post then...abangan and susunod na kabanata...

Why I choose to Love...

Most will say Love is a choice. I agree. Why would I choose to love? I choose to love because as in the paradox of life -- to love is to bind oneself to the Beloved. In doing so, I become free. Free to do what? To love even more.

I can cite physical attributes for reasons to love -- the person is beautiful/handsome, well established in life, comes from a good clan. These indeed have its rightful place in the choice of loving but God doesn't love with human standards. Buti na lang.

I don't deem to know much about His way of loving. I do know how it is to be on the receiving end of it. The Bible says God looks and judges the hearts of men. I do not know what He sees in my heart to continue loving me despite all the times that I hurt Him, choose to hurt Him and still disbelieve the sincerity of His love for me. Most likely because I can not seem to find anything loveable about myself therefore why should He love me? Yet He does.

I came to the point I ceased to question that kind of Love but instead became grateful for the constancy of that love. Love is a choice. May I continue choosing to accept the Love He gives me. With each choice to love another, I love Him back. With every choice to love myself the way He loves me, I love Him back. In choosing to Love, I am freed to become Me...at the end of the road, I hope to truly understand what Love sees in me.

Back to Basics

We all have our good days and our not-so-good days. Whenever I stumble and fall -- choosing to give in to temptation over what I know is right and I begin to find that I had walked back into my own 'prison cell' so to speak...I find I go back to the basics. I go down on my knees and once again acknowledge that my way wasn't such a good idea after all, that He did know better. Holding on to truths about who I am and who He is helps stem the tide of self-recrimination. Songs are ways by which I remind myself of who I am and who God is, despite my mistakes. This song helps me remember....Remembering gives me the strength to stand up once more and keep on walking. Such love...it still boggles my mind....Yet, I am nonetheless grateful for its stubbornness and tenacity. My hope is that He will never cease to remind me and may I never cease to stand up and hope in Him....