I was going through our forum at www.misyononline.com and saw an old post by my boss. It had a link to an article entitled, 'A Glint of Sapphire' and it was a reflection of sorts by the author and his wife as they celebrated 45 years of marriage. Wow! In this day and age, such longevity in marriages is to be celebrated indeed.
I'd like to share some lines from the article which struck a chord in me and got me thinking about certain things. They quoted the old marriage rite (Pre-Vatican II pa ata) :
“You begin your married life, by the voluntary surrender of your individual lives, in the interest of the deeper and wider life you are to have in common. That future, with its hopes and disappointments, its pleasures and pains, its joys and sorrows, its successes and failures, is hidden from your eyes now. Yet, these elements are mingled in every life. They are to be expected in your own.”
An iron-clad commitment follows: “And so, not knowing what is before you, you take each other for better or for worse; for richer or for poorer; in sickness and in health, until death do you part.”
I hadn't realized until reading this quote that the Church has a very balanced view of life and what it entails. The quoted portions of the rite acknowledged the elements that would be needed for a fulfilled marriage. One element that I found significant is found in the line... "the voluntary surrender of your individual lives, in the interest of the deeper and wider life you are to have in common". Voluntary surrender is an act of the will. You choose to give up your preferences and wants. What for? I know nowadays, there is a strong advocacy for individual rights but then marriage according to these lines is not about individual rights but about a communal life. I used to see surrender as synonymous to defeat but I have been learning that isn't always the case. Surrendering, especially in the context of giving up for something better makes one a victor and not the vanquished. What for are we called to surrender in marriage? We are called to surrender in the interest of a deeper and wider life that is to be lived in common.
No one can quite say, they weren't fairly warned :P I like the line "voluntary surrender of your individual lives" -- yup it is indeed a choice and a choice made everyday I think... :)
And what reassures me is the line that says despite not knowing what is ahead, the couple takes each other as is in all circumstances. No ifs and buts about it. Now that is commitment. I used to want to be 100% sure of my choice of a mate. But then I cannot see a 100% into the future and how things will be but as the article stated,
“And if the unselfish spirit of sacrifice guide your every action, you can expect the greatest measure of earthly happiness that may be allotted to a person in this life,” it pledged. “The rest is in the hands of God.”
And I think that's the safest place for my marriage to be at. :)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment