In Memoriam

Tomorrow, which would be Saturday in the Philippines will be the day my Lola Pen will be brought to her final resting place -- right next to my Lolo Ting at Bacolod Memorial Park. Due to an appointment I could not reschedule I could not make it home to pay my last respects. My family, loving as they are, understand perfectly and I thank them for that. So, I am left with my sorrow to be borne alone -- well, not completely alone since Junby and Therese are here but it's different.

Reading my cousin's blog post yesterday, her eulogy for Lola Pen led me to reflecting on how much I, too owe who I am and what I am becoming to Lola Pen. I am not a very good cook. I am far from being the likes of Lola Pen and Manang J. Neither am I good with my hands in creating crafts and the like. I am also but a passable homemaker -- my home is more or less in a constant state of near chaos. So what can I say is Lola Pen's influence upon me? I don't think I inherited that much from her. I was saddened by that thought and then I realized something which comforted me somewhat.

Lola Pen was big on loving but loving in a quiet way. No fanfare. No trumpets. Just consistent, day to day loving. I think it is most likely her quiet and consistent loving of her husband and family which influenced me to decide to be a stay-at-home mom. Looking back I realized that growing up, Lola Pen's house was more of my home than our own house was. Both my parents worked and so Honey and I would inadvertently be left in the care of Lolo Ting and Lola Pen. After school -- Lola Pen's house was our destination. Come to think of it, we always referred to their house as Lola Pen's and very rarely Lolo Ting's. I guess it's because that house was her domain. Her spirit permeated the place, kept it in order, provided care, nourishment and shelter for all who entered. Lola Pen never sat down to relax. She was always bustling about, most of the time to cook the next meal. If she wasn't in the kitchen she was around the house cleaning, making sure her home was just that -- a HOME.

She was a good wife, a good mother and a great grandmother. I pray I can be half as good as she was. Lolo Ting loved her fiercely and she loved him well by making their house a home, making sure her daughters grew up to be honest, hardworking, upright, God loving, generous, and fantastic women. I think my mom and her siblings are strong women because they had a very good role model in Lola Pen. I hope and pray I can pass on all these to Therese and the other children God will bless us with.

I love you Lola Pen. I'm pretty sure Lolo Ting is glad to have his "Joy" with him finally.