I am an apparent contradiction.
I am happy yet sad.
I am satisfied yet discontented.
I am in my present yet I am a product of my past and my future is defined, more often than not by it as well.
I am hopeful yet resigned.
I am loved without condition yet I love with conditions.
I claim to be strong but hurt others because of my weakness.
I am certain yet doubt.
I am home yet on my way there.
I am me yet not --
I am a canvas for others to define themselves by
yet in their search for themselves they have defined me as well.
Isn't it ironic indeed that I seek for perfection in others yet fail to perfect myself. Scriptures speak the truth...the measure by which we measure others, should verily be the same measure God shall use to measure me. In the final analysis, how do I measure against God and Jesus' standards of loving? And in all honesty, the irony of it all is that I can't even hold a candle to their kind of loving yet I am called to love as they love. Can I truly love that way? My Faith tells me, God in me and through me can bring this about...without any help from me except the simple assent to his efforts. Jesus...mercy....
PS Check out the pre-nuptial blog my fiance and I set up to keep friends updated on the progress of our wedding. It's at...www.junbyandmitzi.blogspot.com
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